Grief: keen mental suffering or distress over affliction or loss; sharp sorrow
You do not have to experience a death to feel this emotion. Some cultures acknowledge this a lot better than ours, but I believe we here in the Western Cultures feel it more than we are aware.
Last week was one of those weeks for me.
For days I felt frustrated and angry. It wasn't until about day 5 that I realized I was experiencing grief.
For any of you who follow Monica's blog posts, you will have read her Experiences with Dyslexia and the phenomenal progress she has made with the Davis Program of Overcoming Dyslexia. For one year now, we have experienced Monica in a state of orientation with benefits of spatial orientation, clear and normal volume of speech, ability to process information, learn without confusion, sit straight in her wheelchair and use her hands with more function.
Until last week.
We tried something new (if you want details see her post).
It didn't work.
Not only did it not work, she ended up regressing back to where she was before we began.
Slurred speech, whisper volume (us constantly saying "pardon, pardon, pardon, pardon, pardon pardon...). She was flopped over in her wheelchair, she had zoned out eyes, was totally confused when trying to learn how to play a new game we got for her sister's birthday, smacking into door frames when driving her chair...
You get the picture.
Grief. Intense. Consuming. Frustrating. Heart-wrenching. Sharp
Thankfully, our Dyslexia facilitator replied to my SOS email within seconds, and put everything back into place the way it had been before our experiment (done with his approval by the way).
What a joy to see our girl come back to us.
If nothing else, it surely brought to light the true changes this program has made in Monica's life.
Her smile, no more "pardon," no hit door frames, straight posture, and quick learning ability.
Read her blog and you will see that she even has her ability to sequence thoughts and events restored (another area of Dyslexia that is often not realized).
There are days I am aware I live with a certain level of grief constantly for the losses I feel for Monica and myself in our various disabilities. And no, I don't think it ever becomes the new normal.
However, there are also those bang moments in life where we experience grief intensely if even for a week.
I have been in the company of four families recently who are all experiencing grief - some due to death of a loved one, others due to loss of a future they had anticipated.
Whatever the reason, I am learning grief is all around us, and we experience it more than we realize.
My prayer is that we would acknowledge this emotion, and grieve well.
Good grief.
