A Poem

The other day a friend gave her daughter a challenge to write a poem starting with this line:
Gumption and Gusto to get through the goo...

This line is circulating now and I thought I'd take up the gauntlet and try my hand at it.

Hitting 3 g's

Gumption and gusto to go through the goo,

It’s become such a habit what else would I do?

Push the chair up the lane when the battery’s low

Or the wheels are spinning in un-shovelled snow.

Get up nice and early day after day

To call ParaTranspo to take us away

Hitting the redial time after time

Only to get through and be told “hold the line.”

Standing and waiting and pacing the floor

I start my day “right” praying ten minutes or more

“Lord, help me get through before there are no more rides,

and we can’t get a bus where we chose to abide.”

I’m sure Franklin Agenda has not a clue

Double bookings are actually easy to do.

One kid goes here and one kid goes there

And mom is left standing pulling her hair.

Is supper at five or is it at nine?

We’ll eat when we eat so please don’t whine.

SHEP and Arise, and LPB

PT’s and OT’s and CCAC.

OYOA, and Para, Propeller and more

My brain’s in a whirl from our revolving door.

The week’s almost done

We have math left to do

And sewing and Spanish, and clarinet too

Being a homeschool Mom is a busy career

And some would say even a little bit queer.

White canes and wheelchairs, ensemble and ballet

Foot braces and hair buns fill every day

So, gumption and gusto to go through the goo?

Goo is a plenty but recall the first two.

Gumption is gutsy, its courage and spunk

It’s carrying on when the rest would say “bunk.”

Gusto is fervor and passion and heart

No one but Mom can do that part.

So despite the disability, distractions and duty

Even in discipline and dyslexia there's beauty

Hence, there’s no place like home

No one I’d rather be,

Than the homeschooling Mom

Of this special family.

Glossary of terms:

SHEP - Science, History Enrichment Program (a homeschool co-op)

Arise - A Christian ballet school

LPB - Les Petits Ballets (a performing company ballet school)

PT - physiotherapy

OT - occupational therapy

CCAC - Community Care Access Centre where we have a PSW (personal support worker)

OYOA - Ottawa Youth Orchestra Academy

Para - ParaTranspo (the Ottawa bus system for people with disabilities that both my daughter and I use)

Propeller - the Dance Company with which my oldest daughter works. 

,

Rejoicing

Rejoice in the Lord always, and again I say rejoice.
Philippians 4:4

This command from Paul in Scripture has been on my heart and mind this last week. It is a hard thing to do this rejoicing thing.
But, I think I may have turned a spiritual corner so to speak.
The key here is "in the Lord." 

I suppose that is pretty basic and obvious, but it has not been something I have ever really put into practice on an ongoing basis.

This last week, no matter what situation I find myself in, I am disciplining myself to turn my mind to "in the Lord," rather than the situation. 

Although there have been some instances when I have forgotten, I am at least remembering within a few moments of my frustrations. 

The result - 

• much more contentment
• a much more realistic perspective of life. 
• calmer emotions
• a better attitude toward God.

 

Thanksgiving

Looking for the small things in the day is one of the best ways I know for me to enhance an attitude of thankfulness. There are so many more small blessings in one day than there are enourmous miracles in a life time.

Anna-Lee found this chipmunk on our front
 porch chowing down on one of our home
 grown cherry tomatoes! I never knew a 
chipmunk ate tomatoes! I am always grateful
 for nature and new experiences!

 Sometimes gratefulness comes from a memory.
Like today when I was overcome by thankfulness that God chose me. He is the One who created in me a yearning for Him when I didn't even know Him. He is the One who entered my dreams as a young girl. He is the One who organized people and events in my life to introduce Himself to me. He chose me! 

I could go on and on about the small things in our day today that culminate into a realization that God is truly engaged in my life.

• Anna-Lee wanting to help Monica create a nice hair style
• a beautiful Sunday School class with students who participated and had fun
• a gorgeous sunny day
• a beautiful family walk through the woods - even a path groomed enough for the wheelchair
• laughter during our family game tonight
• Anna-Lee successfully and quickly working out fractions in her mind while converting recipes -  a very great blessing indeed for a homeschooling Mom.
• timing working out to see and invite someone to our Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow
• an idea that popped into my mind tonight
• just discovering that a book I was interested in reading was a free download and accessible now!

I know as I seek and ask God to open my eyes and ears and heart to His presence and interaction with me, I will see even more of these small instances where He has been involved in my life.
Nothing can come close to giving me joy and thankfulness that that!

What Happened To August?

My last post was July and now it's the second day of school! What happened to August?

Well...
We got new neighbours!
Over the last few months we watched as across the street a new house got built. Anna-Lee prayed there would be a ten year old girl to play with and Monica prayed there would be a dog for Cyrus to play with. 

Lo and behold there was a ten year old girl and a nice black lab/chow mix that loves to play with Cyrus.
Ever since, Anna-Lee and the three children (10, 7 and 4) have been fast friends, along with the two dogs.

And our home has not been the same since (in a good way). 

I love to watch/listen to children at creative  play.
One of their favorite games is BUS. They use one of Monica's old manual chairs as a bus. One child rides it, two children push it, one child acts as stop signs, animals crossing the road and the occasional meteor shower of flying stuffed animals. 

Occasionally, the bus becomes a train and moves side to side, and it has even morphed into a plane where the two girls pick it up with one four year old in it and fly it around the basement.

Every now and then there is a CRASH, a BANG, a THUMP, and a WAIL, but for the most part the louder the noise the more fun they are having. 

And here they come now!
God is fun.

This Moment

"I love this moment," I told my ten year old tonight.
This moment that I can hold your hand, kneel by your bed and pray for you.

A Dramatic Answer

My ears know it's there but my eyes just can't find it.
That in a nutshell describes my nature walks.
I pick things out with my ears and then usually tell whomever I am with to look in a certain direction for a particular bird or animal.
 If I am fortunate, they in turn will be able to describe to me exactly where to look and I will be able to find it before it takes off.

Tonight however, I opted to stay on the boardwalk while the rest of the family went to Kawartha Dairy for ice cream.

I so wanted to see the beaver but dark water and dark beaver just don't work for me. So I prayed, "Lord, You know how much I want to see Your creation, but I just can't see it. Will you please help me locate the beaver?"

SPLASH!

Right at my feet. That got my attention!

So, I got wet, and my eyes got directed to the beaver. In all the time that we as a famly had watched the beaver, and others had come and gone, he hadn't thumped his tail. Only when I stood silently alone having just finished uttering my prayer, did he choose to give his tail one slap. 

I still had some trouble following him when he started to move, but eventually located it and got so close I saw his nostrils open and close!

 I am so appreciative of God's compassion and unique methods of answering prayer!

A Few of My Favorite Things

This is one of my favorite times of year. 
Yes, I love summer weather.
Yes, I love that we aren't controlled by schedules.
Yes, I love the vacations, the cottage, the travel, the family time...
These are some of my favorite things.

But, one of my very favorite things at this time of year is seeking God's plan for Anna-Lee's schooling for the next year.

Yesterday, I sat by the lake asking God what He'd like Anna-Lee to spend her time doing next year. It is so much fun to have an idea then float into mind. 

Anna-Lee loves reading. One idea that I am now researching is to focus on different types of writing. For the first part of next year we will study writing in the form of plays as well as studying the playwrights. That of course then gets us into to all things drama. Did you know that "intermission" began in theatres when the theatre companies moved indoors and needed time to resnuff, replace and relight the candles! They used that time to start to sell food such as oranges and liquor and economically it was a boon. Intermission has remained. Fascinating!

This whole process of custom designing curriculum, custom designing the days and weeks and months is truly a joy. God surely knows our kids better than anyone, and we parents know our kids the next best. Working together, education becomes a truly beautiful process. 
One of my favorite things!

Clarinet music spilling across the lake. Another of my favorite things!

 

Eye Opening Experiences

I've heard the stories and I've met the familes, but now I have a weeks worth of experience!
What am I referring to?

School!

Anna-Lee is at a Music Day Camp for two weeks playing her clarinet in wind ensemble, band, and orchestra and she even gets to take a percussion class! She is gone from 7:45 a.m. until 5:30 p.m. each day (travel included as the school is way out in the east end). On the whole she is enjoying the experience and learning lots.

I however...

• am experiencing waking my daughter up each morning and her being so tired that on Tuesday she fell back asleep - reminds me of the Zits cartoon.
• am experiencing making her breakfast to go - she eats it in the car on the way as it's just too early for her to sit down and eat before she goes.
• am experiencing making zip lock bag lunches every morning.
• am experiencing getting things done around the house in the day and even having time for some extras.
• am experiencing having to get supper on the table as early as possible so she can go to bed on schedule.
• am experiencing homework - she's working all day and they want her to practice at night. Are you kidding me?! She needs to go swimming and get some exercise. I think homework (and school for that matter)  is the root of obesity in children!
• am experiencing a turn to prayer all day in a new area as she eats in the cafeteria with other girls in her class and is being exposed to the concept of peer pressure with people I have never met.
• Most of all I am experiencing missing the quality and quantity of time I am used to spending with my daughter.

On the other hand this is only for two weeks and she is learning lots. We are making sure we have our story times each day at the dinner hour. Instead of asking "What did you learn today?" which I am told from others is a useless questions, I ask her "What stories do you have to tell us?" and there are always lots. 

Certainly these experiences have given me a new gratitude and appreciation for our precious homeschooling way of life.

Story Time

 This summer is a new season - Anna-Lee is off to a music day camp for two weeks. She's gone from 7:30 a.m. until about 5:00 p.m. For a homeschool Mom this is a major change in lifestyle.
I miss her, but it is such a joy to have "story time" over the supper hour - and it definitely stretches to the hour (or two) as everyone has their chance to tell their stories of the day.

I believe stories are what binds hearts, families, and generations together.

Both my girls love to hear stories of family from long ago - my recollections of my Grandparent's houses, games played, school days, friends and holidays. As we spend time telling and listening to each others stories we are binding ourselves to one another more and more.

And on a precious note: each morning before Anna-Lee leaves, she slides a note of love under her sister's door for her to find when she gets up. Sweet.
 

What do you do for Fun?

How strange that I have been asked this twice in the last couple weeks, and yet I can't recall ever being asked this in my life before!

I think I don't do much that is "fun" , but I do do things that bring me a lot of joy. 
Here's a list

• homeschooling
• writing
• working as speaker coordinator for the homeschool conference
• working as Special Needs Representative
• teaching Sunday School

Those are what came to me in the first 30 seconds.

Note that all of these are work.
So, here's the thing: Work is joyful.
 Not much of it is fun (amusing, entertaining, lighthearted pleasure), but most of it is joyful.

And as a P.S. the word amusing as in amusement park etc. means without thought. "a" = without and "muse" = to consider something thoughtfully - thus literally without any thinking. 
No fun.

A Bucket or a River

I was praying for a peaceful sleep for my daughter before bed the other day as I usually do, but this time I had a picture in my mind as I prayed. Rather than a bucket of peace being dumped into her for the night, I envisioned a river that was constantly flowing filled with peace.

This image has stayed with me over the past week as I have been praying - God is constant, His love neverending, His provision eternal, His peace given not as the world gives.

And he showed me a pure river of water of life, clear as crystal, proceeding from the throne of God and of the Lamb.Rev. 22:1

A Moment to Share

Anyone who knows me well, knows I love peaceful, open spaces where I can contemplate God's beauty without disturbance. Today I had that opportunity and I wanted to share it.
So, join me on a bench overlooking large quiet fields with horses romping, birds chirping, and a warm slight breeze.
God's created a very beautiful world which often I don't have time or opportunity to appreciate.

The Unexpected

Not in my wildest dreams did I ever expect my life to include a road trip with my daughter. And yet, here I was on the Via Rail Train on my way, with the Propeller Dance Company, to the Tangled Arts Festival in Toronto!

Via Rail - friendly and helpful

Wheelchair Accessible Access

Other than the train ride, I think there was not one logistical thing that went according to my expectations on this trip! But throughout the unpleasant unexpected situations shone the surprising unexpected results.

Here, in a nutshell are some examples:

• The support worker assigned to us was hospitalized a couple days before the trip.
• The Wheel Trans that was scheduled to pick us up from the train was still not there after we waited over an hour.
• The hotel's "accessible room" was inaccessible - even the manual chair of one of the company members could not fit into the bathroom - certainly my daughter's power chair could not.
• The larger suite we were assigned was equally inaccessible and the penthouse suite we were offered had stairs!

As a result of these unexpected challenges:
 The Propeller Dance Company showed me what Community is really about. 

• Immediately, we had volunteers to swap roles and we were assigned a full time support. 
• Immediately, two people got up from their dinner in the hotel restaurant to come help us walk from the train station to the hotel by taking our luggage and being that friendly face we needed when Wheel Trans didn't show up. 
• Immediately, three Propeller men came and removed furniture from the inaccessible suite to make more room for the power chair.  
• AND the hugest most significant part of all of this was that they did it cheerfully, with a sincere heart so that neither my daughter nor I felt like a burden. We were engulfed in their love as part of their team.

I would not give up one of those unexpected challenges for the unexpected blessing of that unexpected lesson.
 

The Propeller Dance Company

Be all Things...

 1 Cor 9:22-23
I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some.

This Scripture about being all things to all  people used to annoy me. How can we physically, emotionally, and mentally be all things to all people? 

Yesterday, I got it. 

All this time, I had been reading it wrong and thus interpreting it incorrectly. The real message here is not "be what everyone wants you to be," but rather simply try and identify with the person you are communicating with!

Yesterday, it came to light that one of my daughters has been recieivng lots of encouragement and optimism regarding something that is very hard for her. Sounds good doesn't it.

But that is not even close to what she needs. She feels misunderstood and not listened to becasue of how people are brushing over how hard it is for her and only trying to get their way by "forcing" her to do something under the guise of "encouragement."

What she wants is understaniding and empathy. Perhaps if someone - anyone - could identify with her struggles, she might actually be encouraged to persevere.

It's a fine line to walk - "sympathetic" to the point of creating a pity party, or "encouraging" to the point of not listening and identifying.

What Paul is saying in this Scripture is that even though he remians strong in Christ, he tries to identify with the people group, the culture, or the individulal he is speaking with.

And indeed, Jesus was the role model for this method - as He came to earth as a lowly human so we could identify with God Almighty and hopefully listen to His message.
Not only that, but while He was here on earth, He spoke and ate with blatantly sinful people.

Today, I will try to enter into my daughter's world, and identify with her disability, her struggles, her emotions - to walk a mile in her AFO braces so to speak - and perhaps ultimately she will be encouraged.

Imagine a world where we truly tried to identify with the elderly, those with disabilities, the poor, those of different religious convictions, our boss, our employee... Imagine the kind of communication we could have.

 1 Cor 9:19-23 The Message
 Even though I am free of the demands and expectations of everyone, I have voluntarily become a servant to any and all in order to reach a wide range of people:  religious, nonreligious,  meticulous moralists, loose-living immoralists,  the defeated, the demoralized — whoever. I didn't take on their way of life. I kept my bearings in Christ — but I entered their world and tried to experience things from their point of view. I've become just about every sort of servant there is in my attempts to lead those I meet into a God-saved life.  I did all this because of the Message. I didn't just want to talk about it; I wanted to be in on it!

Unpopular

Matt 7:13-14
 "Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.

There are times when I am traveling my narrow road, that I am not really aware of how narrow it is.  Other times when this narrow road intermingles, crosses, and travels alongside other roads  on this planet - roads that are wide and populous - where immediately the comparison is evident.

It is these times I feel the stab the most. The times when it is undeniably evident that I am on the lonely isolated trail. When my choices don't fit with very many others. 
Times when even the narrow path seems virtually empty.

Choosing the narrow gate - this bridge in Kosova 
seemed an appropriate symbol

 

My trip to Kosova came to mind 
as I was thinking of narrow roads!

 Perhaps it's when our decision to homeschool comes to light in a waiting room in the midst of teachers and parents who send their kids to institutional schooling. Perhaps it is when others ask if we have seen a particular T.V. show and our answer is "We don't have T.V."  Recently, it had to do with what I won't allow my eyes to see and ears to hear as it relates to theatre.

The more my narrow road intersects with the broad road - which happens when I am out and about in this world of ours - the more unpopular I realize I am!

As I looked up the definition of popular...
: liked or enjoyed by many people
: accepted, followed, used, or done by many people

: of, relating to, or coming from most of the people in a country, society, or group

...I realized that anyone who has chosen the narrow road should be known as "Unpopular." It's just the way it has to be.

Phil 3:13-14
Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead,  I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

Trusting

I was praying for someone the other day who has been through a lot of yuck. Unfortunately, we can be let down by those we think we can trust. The thought came to my mind that there are different levels of trust we put in people and those of course we put our highest trust in cause us the most grief and heart ache when they betray or fail us in some way.

 It's ironic that the One we can trust the most is often in our culture the One who is trusted the least. And even amongst us church folk, we can lose trust in His goodness, His love, and His integrity pretty quickly. And becasue we should be able to trust Him the most, it causes the most damage when we lose that trust in His very character.

But a truth blasted through that we can trust in His love because He always always acts from a character that is never self-centred. He truly never does anything for His own benefit. Everything that He does is others-centered. Just look at the cross.


Now, when I feel let down by God - "surely You could have  intervened here God" - I force myself to remember He is not self-centred. His love is perfect - even though mine is not.

Rom 15:13
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
NIV

Remembrance Moments

As a Homeschool Mom and Sunday School teacher, I am often surprised when my teaching gets forgotten! To compensate for this forgetfulness, I will ask some review questions to get everyone back up to speed. A time to remember where we left off. Of course I can't do this for every fact that is ever taught, but it does help to get the main context back in mind.

God describes Himself as our Teacher, however as His student I can be very forgetful. There are so many lessons and revelations He has taught that I have promptly gone and forgotten!

I had a sudden thought that just like those "Remembrance Moments" I do with my kids in homeschool or my Sunday School classs, I need Remembrance Moments too.

Our society recognizes the importance of having days set aside to "remember" - Remembrance Day, or Mother's Day for instance.

I believe I need Remembrance Moments each day. A few minutes set aside to ask our Lord - "What do You want me to remember today." He knows what I'll face today and need to remember.  I'm thinking that would be much preferable to repeating the whole lesson!

 Prov 3:1-2
My son, do not forget my teaching,
but keep my commands in your heart, 
for they will prolong your life many years
and bring you prosperity.
NIV

1/2 Empty or 1/2 Full

Many have heard of the analogy comparing the optimistic person to one who sees a glass as half full and those with pessimistic tendencies seeing the same glass as half empty. It's a good analogy.

The other day I used it in a bit of a different light. I have found it quite easy to see negative in those I am closest to and overlook the many positive attributes.

As I was faced with becoming frustrated by having my focus pinpointed onto a rather irritating quality of an individual, the analogy of 1/2 empty 1/2 full suddenly came to me.

I can look at an individual in this same light. I can focus on negative or the positive within the same person. It's my choice. 

Immediatley my frustration was diminished as I started to think of those things that were true and good and pure and noble and of good report about this individual, and let the negative trait slide down in magnitude.

I'm pretty sure God must use this technique a lot with me!

 Prov 19:11
A man's wisdom gives him patience;
it is to his glory to overlook an offense.
NIV

The Fire

Who would pray for a house fire so they could find that piece of gold that would remain intact?
And who would pray for a forest fire to find a piece of silver.

God describes Himself as the "Consuming Fire," (Hebrews 12:29), and in many churches we do sing and pray for "His fire to fall." In other words we pray to get spiritually burned up and see what's left.


 Perhaps I haven't asked for God's fire to truly consume me, but I have, with a very sincere heart, asked to be purified "body, mind, heart and soul" which in essence is the exact same thing.

Within seconds of that prayer many years ago, the first command I received was "Don't take a sip of that coffee"  - from my morning routine cup of coffee with Bible reading.

Little did I realize that was a very small test to see if I was serious about my prayer. A very tiny aspect of "purifying my body." I was so pleased with myself for putting the mug down! How naive I was!


So many things have happened since then. Situations that God has used to test and hone character in me such as Love, Peace, Patience, Faithfulness, and Self-Contorl. Or situations that have emphasized my self-centredness, impatience and grumbling.

There are many times over the last few years in which I had forgotten my prayer of long ago, but very gently (God is a consuming fire but also gentle, kind, compassionate, and full of grace and mercy) He reminds me that purifying my body was only one aspect of my prayer. I also prayed my mind and heart and soul would be purified too!

Remarkably, once that prayer to be purified is even remotely answered and a trial or tribulation or testing comes, the most common response is to pray and ask for it to be removed.
 I've done my fair share of it.

All in all though, trusting that God truly is sovereign and nothing comes to us without purpose is one of the greatest, most freeing, peace-giving lessons of all.

James 1:2-5
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds,  because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.  Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
NIV

Joy

I'm feeling it again.

There are many times and reasons in life when I have felt "happy." So many examples come to mind - a good mark on an exam, spending time with a friend, my wedding! A trip to ... anywhere... a funny moment with my family, playing with the cat, feeding a chipmunk...

Then there are times when I feel gladness.  This is usually due to a grateful heart. As I sit here and type I am listening to my nine year old reading Scripture to her Daddy before bed. I have gladness. It is good.

Joy though is different.
Joy is deeper.
Joy is richer
Joy can come even in the dark.

I have found this deep joy comes when:
1. I am learning something from God - a revelation of His Word and His heart.
2. I am being used by God to do His will.

There is no greater delight then learning from God. When Scriptures start to connect together and collide in sudden revelation.
The kids and I are working our way through the book of Mark in Sunday School, and all throughout the book of Mark, Jesus taught. Everywhere He went He taught. He says in Mark 1:38 that preaching/teaching is why He has come

These Aha moments and the joy of hearing from God that follow has come in many places though - the halls of the hospital to the airplane over Kosovo. It has come in various situations - on receiving devastating news or in the middle of teaching Sunday School.
Jesus is a teacher - and I love my Aha moments!

When I am being used by God, it is most often (if not always) because I am out of my comfort zone. A very exciting place to be actually. It is the place I most frequently meet God. He's always there in that zone. Of course He is in every zone, but I most often seek Him and find Him when I am in that "yikes, what do I do now" zone.
When someone asks for prayer and it seems so huge,  when I am suddenly put in charge of a Ladies Bible Study in a foreign country, when I am asked to speak at a homeschooling meeting...

Because it's not about me and what I can do - it's about what God wants to do for others - through us!

So the joy comes in teaching kids Sunday School. The joy comes in homeschooling, The joy comes in reading Scripture and finding how verses relate to one another, the joy comes when I give a word in due season...

How I desire to daily live in that joy. The joy of being in constant communion with my Creator, Saviour and Teacher.

The fruit of the Spirit is love, JOY, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Gal 5:22.

Contentment

'Con-tent-ment: the state of being pleased, satisfied, not needing more. (Merriam -Webster online Dictionary)

Hmm. over the years I wonder that my definition sounds more like - elusive, hard to grasp, slips out of hand quickly! (Linda's experience dictionary)

However, my heart's cry, especially lately, has been a fullness of contentment.

Living in the realm of disability is hard. My daughter has had physiotherapy, occupational therapy, speech therapy and a host of other therapies to improve where she is at over the years. I am not satisfied to have her remain where she is at - we are always working and striving for more. And yet, contentment means to be satisfied and not need more.

Can we be content and still strive for more?

Ever since I read this many years ago, I have been absolutely fascinated with this Scripture:
Phil 4:11-13
I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.
NIV

I remember wanting to confront Paul and say "Tell me the secret you speak of! Don't keep it to yourself!"

Paul couldn't answer me, but God certainly did. And lately He has been showing me much about the state of contentment, much of which I have shared already in previous posts. 

Looking up the antonyms of contentment is downright scary. I definitely don't want to live there! Words like: misery, sadness, joylessness, sorrow, dejection, depression, despondency, gloom, aggravation, annoyance, exasperation, irritation, agitation, distress....

Paul was able to get beyond the "what" of his life and live in the "who" he was meant to be. 
And in this - contentment by getting beyond the "what" of life - in this, we can do all things through Christ who gives us strength.

So yes, I can work for more and yet not need it to be content - with God's help.

Wrestling

When I was a little girl, my Grandfather used to watch three things on television - The Lawrence Welk Show, Wrestling, and Roller Derby! (ouch to the scratching and pulling of hair).

I have to admit, I much preferred the peace and gentleness of The Lawrence Welk Show, compared with the anger and battles of the other two! My life can be kind of like this though - on the one hand the beauty and harmony in the form of God's Creation and unity with others, and yet on the other hand the battles that rage around me and even within me.

 One day recently as a friend and I sat listening to a special guest speaking at our church, my friend leaned over and whispered these words: "We wrestle with the spirit of darkness, but we also wrestle with the Spirit of Light."

That was profound for me, as my Christian walk has had many seasons of wrestling the Spirit of Light (God), 
I do believe that, although this wrestling is uncomfortable, it can also be positive. I am convinced first of all that God does not mind the odd wrestling match. Secondly, when we wrestle with God for answers to the hard issues of life and truly want His heart and wisdom on the matter, we come out strong and immovable in our faith. Job is a good example of this.

Unfortunately, there has been the odd time I have engaged in roller derby - going around in circles with the goal of taking everyone out - and that is definitely not a successful conclusion!

 Jude 3
...contend for the faith that was once for all entrusted to the saints.
NIV

The friend who leaned over to whisper those profound words of wrestling the Spirit of Light to me, is also an artist. Below is a photo of a painting she did a couple years ago and a little write up of what she was contemplating at the time. Enjoy!

Genesis 32:26

When I decided to do this painting, my thoughts initially focused on God's universe, so I painted my canvas black - a very deep black depicting the galaxies. As I went through a children's Bible that had Scripture pictures in it, the picture that jumped off the page at me was the one where Jacob was contending with the angel of the Lord for His blessing. I proceeded to research the Scriptures in more depth. As I did, what came to mind was how amazing it was to physically wrestle with the Lord. I wrestle all the time with God for revelation, but to literally physically wrestle hand to hand! What expectation did Jacob have in his wrestling? What expectation do we have in ours? When did Jacob realize Who he was wrestling? Do we realize when we are contending with the Spirit of Light? Why did Jacob stay back alone on the one side of the River while he sent everyone else away? Did he know he would meet God? Do we go off alone to meet God?

This whole process has made me even more in awe of the magnitude of God.
Diana Carson