I'm feeling it again.
There are many times and reasons in life when I have felt "happy." So many examples come to mind - a good mark on an exam, spending time with a friend, my wedding! A trip to ... anywhere... a funny moment with my family, playing with the cat, feeding a chipmunk...
Then there are times when I feel gladness. This is usually due to a grateful heart. As I sit here and type I am listening to my nine year old reading Scripture to her Daddy before bed. I have gladness. It is good.
Joy though is different.
Joy is deeper.
Joy is richer
Joy can come even in the dark.
I have found this deep joy comes when:
1. I am learning something from God - a revelation of His Word and His heart.
2. I am being used by God to do His will.
There is no greater delight then learning from God. When Scriptures start to connect together and collide in sudden revelation.
The kids and I are working our way through the book of Mark in Sunday School, and all throughout the book of Mark, Jesus taught. Everywhere He went He taught. He says in Mark 1:38 that preaching/teaching is why He has come
These Aha moments and the joy of hearing from God that follow has come in many places though - the halls of the hospital to the airplane over Kosovo. It has come in various situations - on receiving devastating news or in the middle of teaching Sunday School.
Jesus is a teacher - and I love my Aha moments!
When I am being used by God, it is most often (if not always) because I am out of my comfort zone. A very exciting place to be actually. It is the place I most frequently meet God. He's always there in that zone. Of course He is in every zone, but I most often seek Him and find Him when I am in that "yikes, what do I do now" zone.
When someone asks for prayer and it seems so huge, when I am suddenly put in charge of a Ladies Bible Study in a foreign country, when I am asked to speak at a homeschooling meeting...
Because it's not about me and what I can do - it's about what God wants to do for others - through us!
So the joy comes in teaching kids Sunday School. The joy comes in homeschooling, The joy comes in reading Scripture and finding how verses relate to one another, the joy comes when I give a word in due season...
How I desire to daily live in that joy. The joy of being in constant communion with my Creator, Saviour and Teacher.
The fruit of the Spirit is love, JOY, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Gal 5:22.
Monday 27 January 2014
Sunday 19 January 2014
Contentment
'Con-tent-ment: the state of being pleased, satisfied, not needing more. (Merriam -Webster online Dictionary)
Hmm. over the years I wonder that my definition sounds more like - elusive, hard to grasp, slips out of hand quickly! (Linda's experience dictionary)
However, my heart's cry, especially lately, has been a fullness of contentment.
Living in the realm of disability is hard. My daughter has had physiotherapy, occupational therapy, speech therapy and a host of other therapies to improve where she is at over the years. I am not satisfied to have her remain where she is at - we are always working and striving for more. And yet, contentment means to be satisfied and not need more.
Can we be content and still strive for more?
Ever since I read this many years ago, I have been absolutely fascinated with this Scripture:
Phil 4:11-13
I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.
NIV
I remember wanting to confront Paul and say "Tell me the secret you speak of! Don't keep it to yourself!"
Paul couldn't answer me, but God certainly did. And lately He has been showing me much about the state of contentment, much of which I have shared already in previous posts.
Looking up the antonyms of contentment is downright scary. I definitely don't want to live there! Words like: misery, sadness, joylessness, sorrow, dejection, depression, despondency, gloom, aggravation, annoyance, exasperation, irritation, agitation, distress....
Paul was able to get beyond the "what" of his life and live in the "who" he was meant to be.
And in this - contentment by getting beyond the "what" of life - in this, we can do all things through Christ who gives us strength.
So yes, I can work for more and yet not need it to be content - with God's help.
Hmm. over the years I wonder that my definition sounds more like - elusive, hard to grasp, slips out of hand quickly! (Linda's experience dictionary)
However, my heart's cry, especially lately, has been a fullness of contentment.
Living in the realm of disability is hard. My daughter has had physiotherapy, occupational therapy, speech therapy and a host of other therapies to improve where she is at over the years. I am not satisfied to have her remain where she is at - we are always working and striving for more. And yet, contentment means to be satisfied and not need more.
Can we be content and still strive for more?
Ever since I read this many years ago, I have been absolutely fascinated with this Scripture:
Phil 4:11-13
I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.
NIV
I remember wanting to confront Paul and say "Tell me the secret you speak of! Don't keep it to yourself!"
Paul couldn't answer me, but God certainly did. And lately He has been showing me much about the state of contentment, much of which I have shared already in previous posts.
Looking up the antonyms of contentment is downright scary. I definitely don't want to live there! Words like: misery, sadness, joylessness, sorrow, dejection, depression, despondency, gloom, aggravation, annoyance, exasperation, irritation, agitation, distress....
Paul was able to get beyond the "what" of his life and live in the "who" he was meant to be.
And in this - contentment by getting beyond the "what" of life - in this, we can do all things through Christ who gives us strength.
So yes, I can work for more and yet not need it to be content - with God's help.
Wednesday 15 January 2014
Wrestling
When I was a little girl, my Grandfather used to watch three things on television - The Lawrence Welk Show, Wrestling, and Roller Derby! (ouch to the scratching and pulling of hair).
I have to admit, I much preferred the peace and gentleness of The Lawrence Welk Show, compared with the anger and battles of the other two! My life can be kind of like this though - on the one hand the beauty and harmony in the form of God's Creation and unity with others, and yet on the other hand the battles that rage around me and even within me.
One day recently as a friend and I sat listening to a special guest speaking at our church, my friend leaned over and whispered these words: "We wrestle with the spirit of darkness, but we also wrestle with the Spirit of Light."
That was profound for me, as my Christian walk has had many seasons of wrestling the Spirit of Light (God),
I do believe that, although this wrestling is uncomfortable, it can also be positive. I am convinced first of all that God does not mind the odd wrestling match. Secondly, when we wrestle with God for answers to the hard issues of life and truly want His heart and wisdom on the matter, we come out strong and immovable in our faith. Job is a good example of this.
Unfortunately, there has been the odd time I have engaged in roller derby - going around in circles with the goal of taking everyone out - and that is definitely not a successful conclusion!
Jude 3
...contend for the faith that was once for all entrusted to the saints.
NIV
The friend who leaned over to whisper those profound words of wrestling the Spirit of Light to me, is also an artist. Below is a photo of a painting she did a couple years ago and a little write up of what she was contemplating at the time. Enjoy!
Diana Carson
I have to admit, I much preferred the peace and gentleness of The Lawrence Welk Show, compared with the anger and battles of the other two! My life can be kind of like this though - on the one hand the beauty and harmony in the form of God's Creation and unity with others, and yet on the other hand the battles that rage around me and even within me.
One day recently as a friend and I sat listening to a special guest speaking at our church, my friend leaned over and whispered these words: "We wrestle with the spirit of darkness, but we also wrestle with the Spirit of Light."
That was profound for me, as my Christian walk has had many seasons of wrestling the Spirit of Light (God),
I do believe that, although this wrestling is uncomfortable, it can also be positive. I am convinced first of all that God does not mind the odd wrestling match. Secondly, when we wrestle with God for answers to the hard issues of life and truly want His heart and wisdom on the matter, we come out strong and immovable in our faith. Job is a good example of this.
Unfortunately, there has been the odd time I have engaged in roller derby - going around in circles with the goal of taking everyone out - and that is definitely not a successful conclusion!
Jude 3
...contend for the faith that was once for all entrusted to the saints.
NIV
The friend who leaned over to whisper those profound words of wrestling the Spirit of Light to me, is also an artist. Below is a photo of a painting she did a couple years ago and a little write up of what she was contemplating at the time. Enjoy!
 |
| Genesis 32:26 |
When I decided to do this painting, my thoughts initially focused on God's universe, so I painted my canvas black - a very deep black depicting the galaxies. As I went through a children's Bible that had Scripture pictures in it, the picture that jumped off the page at me was the one where Jacob was contending with the angel of the Lord for His blessing. I proceeded to research the Scriptures in more depth. As I did, what came to mind was how amazing it was to physically wrestle with the Lord. I wrestle all the time with God for revelation, but to literally physically wrestle hand to hand! What expectation did Jacob have in his wrestling? What expectation do we have in ours? When did Jacob realize Who he was wrestling? Do we realize when we are contending with the Spirit of Light? Why did Jacob stay back alone on the one side of the River while he sent everyone else away? Did he know he would meet God? Do we go off alone to meet God?
This whole process has made me even more in awe of the magnitude of God.Diana Carson
Saturday 11 January 2014
When the Who in Whatville Fails
What has it been? One week since God gave me the wonderful news that I could be the person I was meant to be in the midst of all the "what" in which I live?
I still believe it! And yet, it is hard when one lives in "Whatville" to live like a "Who."
So, what happens when I fail at living out this truth?
Although the miry clay wants to reclaim me, it can't!
With a reminder (sometimes quickly and sometimes more slowly) I can back up and escape the snare.
I truly believe God is not disappointed with me for not living this out perfectly. His patience is soooo much greater than mine.
As the Compass Rose becomes more deeply engraved on my heart, I know I will respond quicker to the sight of the danger ahead signs and move around them with more finesse, agility, and wisdom.
Until that time I will become good at putting myself in reverse.
Ps 145:14
The LORD upholds all those who fall
and lifts up all who are bowed down.
NIV
I still believe it! And yet, it is hard when one lives in "Whatville" to live like a "Who."
So, what happens when I fail at living out this truth?
Although the miry clay wants to reclaim me, it can't!
With a reminder (sometimes quickly and sometimes more slowly) I can back up and escape the snare.
I truly believe God is not disappointed with me for not living this out perfectly. His patience is soooo much greater than mine.
As the Compass Rose becomes more deeply engraved on my heart, I know I will respond quicker to the sight of the danger ahead signs and move around them with more finesse, agility, and wisdom.
Until that time I will become good at putting myself in reverse.
Ps 145:14
The LORD upholds all those who fall
and lifts up all who are bowed down.
NIV
Wednesday 8 January 2014
Practise
Thankfully, when God gives me some wisdom regarding something, He follows it up with opportunity to practise what I have learned!
Since I wrote last, I have had many opportunities to practise not being stuck in circumstances, but rather being free to work on who God wants me to be regardless of the situation I find myself in.
I was in Uganda a few years ago during the rainy season. Our vehicle got stuck in the miry clay - deep, red, thick clay. It took about 25 village men to pull it out with rope! Stuck in that kind of muck is how I have felt for many years and I haven't had 25 people who have been able to pull me out.
For me, it's hard not getting consumed by the "disability." But the last couple days I have been practising getting my focus off disability (whether mine or my daughters) and getting it on "who does God want me to be right now?"
This revelation - that I can still be the person God created me to be regardless of the circumstance of living in disability - has been incredibly freeing.
Living in disability is a huge part of what I do, where I go and don't go, when I do things and how long they take, why I do things, and how I do things. I can't escape living 24/7 engulfed by this. BUT, disability is irrelevant to the WHO. Who I am is separate! I am free to be the "who." The who I am can fly high above the circumstances of the rest of my life.
2 Thess 2:16-17
May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word.
NIV
Since I wrote last, I have had many opportunities to practise not being stuck in circumstances, but rather being free to work on who God wants me to be regardless of the situation I find myself in.
I was in Uganda a few years ago during the rainy season. Our vehicle got stuck in the miry clay - deep, red, thick clay. It took about 25 village men to pull it out with rope! Stuck in that kind of muck is how I have felt for many years and I haven't had 25 people who have been able to pull me out.
 |
| There were many more men up front pulling the rope! |
For me, it's hard not getting consumed by the "disability." But the last couple days I have been practising getting my focus off disability (whether mine or my daughters) and getting it on "who does God want me to be right now?"
This revelation - that I can still be the person God created me to be regardless of the circumstance of living in disability - has been incredibly freeing.
Living in disability is a huge part of what I do, where I go and don't go, when I do things and how long they take, why I do things, and how I do things. I can't escape living 24/7 engulfed by this. BUT, disability is irrelevant to the WHO. Who I am is separate! I am free to be the "who." The who I am can fly high above the circumstances of the rest of my life.
2 Thess 2:16-17
May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word.
NIV
Sunday 5 January 2014
Why The Compass Rose?
I ask the question
Lord, is this the direction?
But I get no answer I hear.
So I try once again,
Should I go this way then?
But the answer is still not clear.
It makes me wonder
Does He care if I blunder?
Or is it me that just can't hear?
Yet as I search His Word
I realize I’ve heard
The voice of my Compass Rose.
His guidance is strong
I can’t go wrong
In knowing just what He wants.
Hundreds of Scripture
Show the full picture
Of the direction He wants for my heart.
So wherever I am
and whatever my plan
I can be the me I am meant to be.
Linda
Was it a mistake that I went to university for nursing instead of teaching? Should we have built a wheelchair accessible home or should we have been satisfied with renovating? There are so many decisions and choices. How would my life be different if I had made different choices?
I have come to a realization that I am asking the wrong question.
It is not so important what University I attended, or even what course I graduated from.
My concern is unwarranted.
The true issue is not "Does my life look the way it should with the husband, children, place of residence career, and educational choices I have made for my kids." The true issue is "Am I the person I was created to be?"
Regardless of whether I married or not, had kids or not, became a nurse or not - I can be the individual He created me to be.
Although I can ask my Compass Rose all these other questions, and He indeed may direct me, I do not need to despair that my "wrong" choices or the "wrong" choices of others, have affected my life irreparably. My Compass Rose is bigger than that. What freedom!
My goal in 2014 is to seek His hundreds of instructions thorughout His Word, and begin the process of applying them. How exciting to be able to have this Compass Rose engraved on my heart.
2 Thess 3:5
May the Lord direct your hearts into God's love and Christ's perseverance. NIV
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